As the mother of a preteen with two younger siblings on the Autism spectrum, life can be quite challenging. My younger girls are quite different in their impairment. One child is non-verbal and has extreme difficulty in social interaction and communication. The other one is very verbal and is excelling in her general education setting.
I like to describe autism as the invisible disorder. There are no physical characteristics that make these children stand-out in a crowd. As a matter of fact, I always get the look of shock when I reveal that my verbal child is on the spectrum. “No? Not her! She looks so normal!” is the response I’ve gotten way too many times and it always stings. She IS normal, just different.
I’m just asking you to choose your words with care. I am asking you to consider this….I had dreams for all of my girls from the time they were in my womb. Dreams of playing tea party, getting dressed up for dance recitals, going on shopping trips to the mall, to the zoo, to the movies. Their first date, their prom, their wedding….My dreams are different now. What you take for granted comes so hard for my children. It is work to make friends, work to play with toys, work to follow simple direction. It takes so much effort for them to go on a simple shopping trip to the mall. All of the smells, noise, lights, and movement can send my children into sensory overload meltdowns. Let me translate for you, it would be the kid that is kicking and screaming and trying to run away from Mom. I can’t tell you how many stares, laughter and rude comments my family has endured due to the insensitivity of some. Their judgments have placed the weight of the world on my twelve year olds shoulders. I am in awe of her strength, compassion and devotion to her sisters.
So, I will continue to dream for my girls. We have chosen to not look at their limitations but to look at all of their possibilities. We are a family just like you, we just have special needs. While you are out doing your day to day thing in the month of April, take time to notice the puzzle pieces, the donations jars for autism and the blue porch lights and think of families like mine. And that is what drives me to bring awareness to our community. So that I don’t have to see that look on my child’s face. So that families like mine won’t feel so out of place in this world. So that when my little ones grow up they will be accepted for who they are. So that while families like mine are doing our best to raise our children, we will know our community supports us. I do this for my girls. They are not defined by their behaviors. They are so much more than that and I want you to see the beauty I see.
Autism affects 1 in 110 children. It knows no racial or financial boundaries. It is a developmental disability that causes significant social, communication and behavioral challenges. How significant the impairment depends on where the child is on the spectrum.
To learn more about autism:
Jackson Autism Support Network
jasn-mi.org
autismspeaks.org
Jeanna TenBrink
Proud Mom of two children with autism and one strong and compassionate tween!
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